I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
