He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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