it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My dick has a subreddit
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
