YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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