thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
