Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
