he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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