Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
