Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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