I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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