Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize