I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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