I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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