don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
