You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
