I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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