hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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