you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize