fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
