Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
