What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
