end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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