Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
