I am in a vortex of obligation.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
