totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize