this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When are your genitals available?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
