I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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