I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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