Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
whose parrot is this?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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