You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
