He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
