just come out here and I will go home with you...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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