seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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