just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
