My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
