I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
