And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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