ya dads aren't the best wingmen
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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