I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
