Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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