You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
