i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if i can run in heels then i can drive
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I checked into jail on foursquare
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
