Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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