did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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