next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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