At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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