So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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