Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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