Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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