I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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