please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
