porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
