when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
