How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize