As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize