Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
