So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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