His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize