I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
